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[02 Apr 2003|09:59am] |
*HATE Sunnydale*
*nothing good ever happens in Sunnydale*
*was floating through to investigate loss of last team*
*passed out while floating*
*woke up in a hand*
*...*
*four Gentlemen in one Hand...*
*it was an Evil Hand, but still just a hand*
*considered stealing heart from body hand was attached to*
*was rather helpless attached to dead weight of hand--could not float*
*tried to type but damned body kept tossing and turning*
*noted attractiveness of body, and chose to investigate (well, SOME of us did--others of us where quite disturbed)*
*tried to remove heart of squeely man with plastic knife*
*then got wrapped in an oven mitt with duct tape!!!*
*was surrounded by squeely girls*
*did not explode, but had very serious headache(s), (if we had had heads)*
*girly-man kept babbling about portals*
*passed out*
*woke up kissing an animate plush bear*
*...*
*all minions are now plush bears in tiny straitjackets*
*all they do is laugh and point now*
*...*
*flees Sunnydale*
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[01 Apr 2003|11:14pm] |
*has lovely evening with Phoebe-bear despite unfortunate events today*
*snuggles with her under the moonlight*
*grabs her in flirty plushy way*
*tweaks her nose playfully*
*leans in for one sweet, romantic kiss*
*bonks all five heads together*
*has a little laugh with Phoebe-bear*
*sighs at mystery of true love*
*gazes into button eyes lovingly as leans for kiss*
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[01 Apr 2003|12:59pm] |
I have found Phoebe. She is a snuggly evil bear now, as far as I can tell. Regardless, she's terribly adorable now, and I wrapped her in all eight of my arms and hugged her like no other time in my life.....
An interesting by-product of this whole debacle is that a young horny teenager is now in possession of my body, and is hearing voices to release the Source. I don't know whether to be afraid or glad. Phoebe-bear is trying to meddle, as usual.
Annoying but adorable Phoebe...I'm feeling slightly aroused by snuggly Phoebe-bear. Is that wrong?
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[01 Apr 2003|11:11am] |
Well, this was certainly unforeseen.
Do the snuggly bear minions work the same as the regular ones? They sure look funny dressed in straitjackets...
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[01 Apr 2003|10:00am] |
*tries to speak*
*can't*
*opens mouth again*
*says nothing*
How the hell do I make these minions do anything? Crap! I don't know sign language!
*turns to funny-dressed fellows*
*grins*
Wow! Look at that! I can move the minions with a toothy grin. Or telepathy. Who knows? Let's see. Scalpels, an overwhelming desire to eat hearts, no voice. Plus there's four of me.
Could be better, could be a lot worse.
*sends minions to find Phoebe*
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[01 Apr 2003|04:44am] |
Do I have flaming balls of death? No. Evil? God, by the packaging I would say yes. None of the four of me is handsome at all. I do seem to have quite a number of scalpels on me...that seems awfully menacing. And I float, which is unnerving, but sort of liberating as well. Pretty slow going however. And will you look at these fellows? Dressed in straitjackets, loping along like jackrabbits?
Hold up -- these are minions! Well, this is just looking stranger and stranger all the time!
I should send them to menace the witch-sisters for a bit. That would be funny.
But the Source is still bound.... and I have renounced evil forever....
Right?
Still, very tempting. It might be fun to menace without the flaming balls of death anyway; it would take them a while to figure out it was me.
Damn my romance and sentiment! Sweet, sweet Phoebe. Sleeping peacefully somewhere, her chest rising and falling with her breath and heartbeat, while I hunger for human hearts...although that's not very romantic, is it? Well, a heart's romantic....
Wait. Didn't these bastards come to Sunnydale last month? Didn't they explode in a hail of green snot?
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[01 Apr 2003|01:53am] |
Damn that Phoebe and I were in the middle of...well...
it was sweet, and touching...
....and dirty as hell. But now unfinished.
Now I have not one, but FOUR libidos to contend with.
This is very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean.
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[01 Apr 2003|12:36am] |
What the hell? PHOEBE! Where are you? Or more importantly, where am I?
Hmmm. Interesting. Bony knuckles. Eight sets of knuckles. Four heads? Good god it's like an echo chamber in here! Look at me! I'm four ghouls, floating along in Sunnydale! Ugly as sin, too. Toothy grin, but hideous. God, this is going to be terrible for my reputation as a man-slut.
Oh, I mean reformed man-slut.
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[31 Mar 2003|09:26am] |
*gingerly floats into Sunnydale*
*must resist urge to flee*
*is slightly soothed by relative calm*
*bows head*
*sheds a tear for the earlier teams who gave their lives in the cause of voicelessness and heart harvesting*
*picks up chin(s) and floats forward with resolve*
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[28 Mar 2003|09:19am] |
*sighs*
*investigative team of the Gentlemen must go back to Sunnydale to piece together what happened last time*
*hates Sunnydale*
*wishes Sunnydale didn't exist*
*doesn't want to go*
*wonders why must investigate when everyone knows Sunnydale is a pox upon us*
*kicks air in frustration*
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[20 Mar 2003|09:13pm] |
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[20 Mar 2003|08:43pm] |
*have spotted Mr. Frail Blond Boy with Hero-Worship Issues*
*minions slowly menacing up behind*
*tests scalpel, noting exquisite sharpness*
*grins*
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[20 Mar 2003|05:07pm] |
*sends minions out into the Sunnydale night*
*grins*
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[20 Mar 2003|12:26pm] |
*list of potential heart donors: Mr. Pike, Miss Phoebe, Mr. Frail Blond Boy with strange hero worship condition*
*scratches head*
*counts on fingers*
*need three more (as procured one early this morning)*
*kicks minion to write sign: "Need suggestions for 3 more hearts--any ideas?"
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[20 Mar 2003|10:40am] |
*pats nice box*
*sets box next to jar filled with heart of young co-ed*
*grins*
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[20 Mar 2003|02:14am] |
*sets lovely box on mantle*
*opens it*
*watches the sweet lack of music flow gently through the clocktower window*
*applauds politely, ready to listen to the SWEET SOUND OF SILENCE in this wretched town*
*sends out minions*
*sharpens scalpel*
*grins*
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[19 Mar 2003|06:15pm] |
*is glad to be here*
*stretches legs from long, long float*
*grins*
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[17 Mar 2003|05:18pm] |
*finally made it back to LA*
*saw Anna Nicole Smith outside the Viper Room*
*very tempted by heart, but couldn't find it under all that padding*
*went to have map tattooed on minions for last leg of trip*
*sighs at high cost of shoddy minion craftsmanship over the long term*
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[14 Mar 2003|10:50pm] |
*if could scream to kill selves, would do so*
*hate minions, who cannot tell left from right*
*would be better off with Mr. Pike as guide, despite vapidity*
*kicks tree at mouth of Riverside, CA highway entrance*
*rolls eyes as minions wander off in wrong direction--again*
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[10 Mar 2003|12:23am] |
*must stop sleeping on the beach and make way towards Sunnydale at last*
*will miss eating hearts of beach revelers*
*noted that they always tasted of wine coolers*
*kiwi flavor especially good*
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the_gentlemen's journal